


Put That in Your Pipe and Smoke It

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-27
Updated: 2006-08-27
Packaged: 2018-09-03 04:32:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8696671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jensen's better at everything. Well, almost everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Title:** Put That in Your Pipe and Smoke It  
**Author:** [ ](http://keepaofthecheez.livejournal.com/profile)[**keepaofthecheez**](http://keepaofthecheez.livejournal.com/)  
**Characters:** Jared/Jensen  
**Rating:** R for dirty language and dirty deeds.   
**Word Count:** 1, 336  
**Disclaimer:** I don’t own the boys, they own me.   
**Summary:** Jensen’s better at everything. Well, almost everything.  
**Notes:** Oh gosh, I’d like to thank [ ](http://wendy.livejournal.com/profile)[**wendy**](http://wendy.livejournal.com/) and [ ](http://estrella30.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://estrella30.livejournal.com/)**estrella30** for taking one for the team and looking over this at the last minute, I’d like to thank my son’s bus driver for showing up late this morning and thus giving me time to write random porn, OH! And I’d like to thank Jared and Jensen for being so fucking slashy. *bows*  
  
  
  
  
  
So everyone thought Jensen was better than Jared. At everything.  
  
Jensen got the press, the attention. The fucking nominations at stupid teeny-bopper award shows, where Jared just got asked to show up in a bathing suit and drink some fucking girly smoothie and generally make an ass out of himself. Because everyone _knew_ he would do it. The fact that Jensen had to present an award for Best Grill was only a small consolation, especially when Jensen somehow managed to make even _that_ look cool.  
  
But all that shit? It was stuff Jared was used to. When you had a pretty boy perfectionist like Jensen Ackles working alongside you, it was impossible not to grow accustomed to the fawning and the pandering and the general ass-kissing that came along with it. What made it even worse, was that Jensen? Was a damn decent individual. He _deserved_ the recognition he got. Jared respected the hell out of his co-star…he just also wanted to fucking strangle the guy for being so goddamn perfect. When Jared was so painfully average.  
  
Case in point.   
  
“Great take, Jensen,” the guest director was saying as Jensen’s shoulders relaxed and he made the remarkable transformation back from Dean Winchester. “You really nailed it.” Jared waited a split-second, and then sure enough, “Jared. Let’s try that one more time.”  
  
He resisted the urge to stomp back over to his mark like a five-year old as Jensen’s eyes caught his. The sympathy there made him want to stab a fork into his forehead, and it was compounded when Jensen brushed by and whispered, “This guy’s a whack-job. That take was awesome all around.”  
  
Jared’s teeth gritted together. “Whatever.” And he got back on mark.  
  
  
The thing about Jensen, was that it was impossible to dislike the son of a bitch. Jared had tried for months, but surprisingly enough, there was more to the guy than slick good looks and a dry wit that popped up when you least expected it. Which was how Jared always found himself _with_ Jensen, when he wanted to be a good five-hundred feet away from the bastard.  
  
Case in point.  
  
“You see that girl over there? Blue shirt.” Jensen was leaning across the table, eyes heavy-lidded and blurred as he pointed somewhere over Jared’s shoulder. His lips – fucking lips that belonged on a porn star – tilted into a grin. “She’s checking you out hardcore, man.”  
  
Jared looked, not because he was interested – hell, he had Sandy at his beck and call even though they’d decided to cool things down and not be exclusive – but more because he needed to look away from those fucking _lips_. His eyes found the girl in question, and then he made a disgusted cluck with his tongue and turned back to his co-star. “Dude. She’s looking at _you_.”  
  
Jensen blinked, narrowing his eyes. A second later, a soft, “Oh.”  
  
And Jared wanted to be irritated, wanted to believe that Jensen knew damn well that woman was checking him out – because who could look at _anything else_ when Jensen Ackles was in the room – but the sincere surprise in his friend’s voice made it impossible to do anything but sigh. Heavily. And maybe grab another drink.  
  
  
  
  
Jensen had the coolest friends, too. Movie stars and songwriters and even regular ol’ downhome Texans who somehow _acted_ like movie stars and songwriters.   
  
Case in point.  
  
The guy knew fucking Hugh Hefner – had been to his _house_ – not that Jensen really had anything nice to say about him. Jared? Jared had fucking Chad Michael Murray, whose nickname even among his closest friends was “The Douche”.   
  
Which was why it pissed him off, pissed him right the fuck _off_ when Jensen leaned in close one night while they were playing PS2 at Jared’s apartment and said, “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Jay.”  
  
Jared knew it was the alcohol making Jensen’s tongue so loose, but the words grated. Because he knew damn well they were a lie. Jensen had a million friends that were better than Jared. He’d mumbled something back under his breath and had gone and stuck his head in the refrigerator.  
  
  
  
The first time he’d tried to pick a fight with Jensen, it had ended with Jensen cocking a brow and saying “Come and find me when you’re done acting like a little bitch”. That had effectively stamped out whatever the hell had upset Jared to begin with, and given him plenty of other things to stew over at the same time.  
  
Case in point.  
  
“Why the hell does everyone want to fuck you so bad?” he was slurring, head lolling against Jensen’s neck as his friend helped him out of the car and up the sidewalk to his apartment. “I’ve seen pretty…prettier people. Well, I haven’t, but they’re out there.”  
  
“Just lucky, I guess.” Jensen grunted a bit, shifting so that Jared caught a good whiff of the cologne he used. Some kind of spicy, woodsy combination that reminded him of, well, Jensen.  
  
“Well, _I_ don’t wanna fuck you,” he stated, although he wasn’t sure if the words were for Jensen or himself. His lips pursed together. “And I don’t give a damn what it says on the inter…the internet.”  
  
Jensen just laughed. “Thanks for clearing that up, Jared.” And shoved him inside the door. “Sleep tight.”  
  
“Fuck you,” Jared mumbled, a tangle of arms and legs on the floor as Jensen wiggled his fingers and shut the door behind him.  
  
  
  
  
The thing that pissed Jared off the most? Was that he’d always known exactly how this shit was gonna end.  
  
Case in point.  
  
“You could’ve just told me,” Jensen was saying, voice thick and velvet-rough as he palmed Jared’s thighs. “How fucking hard would it’ve been?”  
  
Jared was a bit taken aback by the hint of irritation in his friend’s voice. The first time he’d ever heard it, really. His response was lost when Jensen took his dick in his hand, and Jared lifted his hips and muttered lamely, “Pretty fucking hard.”  
  
Jensen’s thumb caught the little ridge right under the crown, and Jared made an embarrassing noise. “Been waiting so damn long,” Jensen sighed, licking his lips and staring up at Jared from beneath heavy lashes. “Tried my patience, Jay.”  
  
Jared couldn’t handle the affection gleaming in Jensen’s gaze. He threw an arm across his eyes – needing to block out that stare and those lips and that fucking _pretty face_ \- before words of a similar nature creeped out of him. “God, shut up and suck me.”  
  
There was a moment’s pause, and then slick, wet heat as Jensen’s mouth moved over and down his shaft. A soft sucking, fucking masterful in a way that had Jared’s blood pounding and something clenching in his chest.  
  
Jared’s lips parted, and the words came out anyway.  
  
  
  
  
So yeah, maybe Jensen _was_ better at some things. Acting, sure. Picking up chicks? Definitely…at least, when he was actually trying. He had cooler friends, and knew how to avoid a fight.  
  
But there was one thing Jared discovered he was better at than Jensen.  
  
Case in point.  
  
“Harder…fuck,” Jensen was gasping, fingers curled around the bedpost as Jared shifted his feet and thrust up and into his co-star’s ass. Jensen let out a throaty moan that was _made_ for the porn industry, and Jared’s hand came around to find Jensen swollen and leaking.  
  
“You like that?” he asked, not because he needed the confirmation, but because he wanted to hear it. From those goddamn perfect lips.  
  
“You know… _oh, shit_ …know I do.” And Jensen’s head dropped between his shoulders, breath coming short and shallow as Jared fucked him. Those same tender words falling from his lips, over and over as Jared plastered himself against Jensen’s back and lost himself in tight heat and soft words and goddamn motherfucking Jensen Ackles.  
  
And yeah, okay. Let Jensen be better at everything else. Let him be everyone’s “perfect”. Because when it came down to it, sometimes Better and Perfect just plain got fucked by Average.


End file.
